Engagement rings are ubiquitous this time of year, and it’s often implied that giving one to your significant other is necessary to ensure a lifetime of undying love and happiness. But I don’t believe that to be true. If you’re meant to be with your partner, a ring won’t change that. However, I can understand why the pressure to propose can be daunting, especially with the extravagant proposals that some people do.
So far, I haven't made a convincing case for popping the question. But here's the thing: marriage changes things. The ring on your finger is a reminder of the commitment you made to stay together, even during tough times. It reminds you to prioritize your partner over yourself and that you have something pure, good and faithful to hold on to.
Getting married also changes things for your family and friends. Even if they’ve always seen you as a pair, getting married makes it official. Suddenly, 1 + 1 equals a super strong single entity.
And legally, things change too. You become each other’s next-of-kin, which can be crucial in times of sickness and health. This is precisely why LGBT+ rights are so important. They're not just seeking the emotional commitment that a ring represents, but they do need the legal benefits that come with it.
Ultimately, getting engaged is an outward expression of all the warm, fuzzy feelings that you have for your partner. If you don’t feel that happy, then don’t do it. But if you do, jump headfirst onto the ride and know that your partner is probably just as nervous, worried, and independent as you are.
In the end, it all comes down to the Nike phrase “Just Do It.” Propose in the kitchen, at a restaurant, or with a ring made of candy. Say, “I love you, be with me, and let’s go on this ride together.”
And when you’re ready, come see us. We’ll help you the rest of the way.
Photo by Megan Noonan